Have you ever felt that if you had one thing your whole life would be different? Or if just one thing would have changed you wouldn't have ended up where you are now?
Imagine with me for a second, if God gave you something you had wanted a year ago, would you have ended up where He has lead you now? Answer is, probably not.
As I was talking to God tonight and talking with a few people this week, I was talking about all the things God has done for me over this past year and half of my life. There has been so many changes and mountains I've climbed. This time last year I was asking God for things just to fill in holes in my life not because I needed them. I was so overwhelmed with the thought of having those "things" that I would get mad when I didn't get them when I wanted them.
Throughout the course of the past 18 months I've learned so much about God's timing. For instance when I started my dating fast last March. That wasn't when God first told me to start it, but because I was selfish and didn't want to listen I ignored God the first time. Do I regret starting when I did? No. It couldn't have been a better time. It was hard, I won't lie. I didn't know what to do. It was weird how as the year went on I had a timeline of events that kept adding up along the way that I kept having to ask God about, but at the end it all made a lot more sense and I got something I wasn't expecting. I dreaded the fast some days, but in the end it was the best decision I had ever made. I came out of that fast with a new identity and a new confidence that no one could ever take away from me. I was and still am a completely different person. This time last year I was a scared girl who just wanted to be loved. During my fast I learned how to fall deeply in love with the one who first loved me before I was even born. I can't tell you how amazing it feels to be in love with such an amazing God. And I realized I don't need a boy to tell me they love me or that I'm beautiful, because to God I am beautiful and He will never stop loving me no matter what.
Around this time last year I was still trying to find what God had called me to do and who I was supposed to be. I was pretending to be something I wasn't for awhile. I am so thankful that God showed me who I was during that time. I'm glad I didn't end up how I thought I was supposed to. I found a new place of freedom with God. I've been able to knock down so many walls even just in this past month that I had had built for years and never saw. These walls had held me back from so much growing I had been trying to reach for. I've had new opportunities to start over and it feels so good. I couldn't be more thankful for what God is doing and the greatest part is, none of this would have even been in my plans if you would have asked me this time last year. I wouldn't have ever believed you if you told me I would have a second chance to be happy again and follow after my dreams. I had buried those things a long time ago. God has placed so many amazing people in my life and great doors open right in front of me. I couldn't be happier with where He has put me. & the best part is I know that right where I'm at now, is just the beginning. I know God has a lot of plans for me coming soon. Including new places, new jobs, new changes and new relationships. God is so amazing and I seriously thank Him so much for not allowing me to have the things I wanted back then. I'm glad whenever I throw a fit like a spoiled brat when I don't get something God says' "One day, you'll understand why." It makes a whole lot of sense once you're on the other side of the story.
