Tuesday, November 20, 2012

P.U.S.H.

Pray until something happens.


With it being the week of Thanksgiving I just want to share a story about someone who is very important to me and who I am so incredibly thankful for. This story is about a boy named Stephen Jay.

I met this boy a little over 2 years ago and from the instant I met him I knew he would change my life forever just by one look. The instant we made eye contact I verbally heard God's voice speak to me and tell me "that is what you've been praying for for all those years, that right there is your future." At the time I was at a place where I wanted no one close to me so I pushed it out and pretended it never happened. Little did I know God had a lot more in store for me than I expected.

Over the next few months I found myself falling for him and checking out new ways to get to know him. I realized God had something special planned for he and I, I just didn't know when the timing would be for it to start. Well long story short we lost contact for awhile in the middle of all this for about 13 months. I found myself constantly thinking about him and praying for him. Around September or October of last year I got a little beaded bracelet that a lady I knew from my old church had made that had the word PUSH on it which means, pray until something happens. When I got it I said, "God, this may be silly but I really want SOMETHING to happen. I don't know what that could be but I just want to see SOMETHING happen." & God spoke to me and said "Pray for Steve, he will be back in your life soon and you need to be ready. I promise you."

Well, that wasn't the "something" I was expecting, but I listened to God and began to pray. I never took the bracelet off and I prayed everyday that God would protect him and bring him back somehow. I would walk into the church every time and think, 'maybe today is the day.' I remember being disappointed when he wasn't there and becoming almost frustrated with God because I felt like he had almost forgot what he had said and my prayers weren't working anymore. Well at the end of April I got the news he was coming back and instead of being happy at first I slightly panicked and questioned why God would choose the timing he did. I had so many emotions when I found out that I didn't know how to react.When I first saw him I couldn't help but cry at how happy I was. I was in complete shock. I remember looking down at my bracelet that night and hearing God say, "I never forget my promises."

It took me a few weeks to get used to having him back around, but I felt like God had everything under control. By a month of him being back everything started to change. I started to want to talk to him more and want to know more about him. I caught myself constantly looking for him whenever I knew he was around. I started to realize he had consumed my every thought. I began to ask God what was going on and  how I was supposed to feel because I knew I loved him around end of May beginning of June. I knew he was it for me. No ifs, ands, or buts. I knew that God was telling him the same things he was telling me at that time and we both knew it is only because of God and his love and guidance that we have made it to this point.


I know that God has been with us this whole time through our whole relationship. God has changed both of us so much and made us stronger than ever before. I believe God has blessed our relationship so much over these past few months almost daily with new blessings and wisdom. I am so thankful for this guy. He's the one who has changed everything for me. He is my whole world and I wouldn't trade him for anything. He makes me smile on days I feel like crap and puts up with me when all I do is whine. Even when I'm a negative Nancy, he still loves me. I love him so much more than he will ever know.  He's the greatest blessing God has ever given me and I couldn't be happier. I'm so excited for everything God has in store for us. He has so many amazing plans for our future and I can't wait to spend them with him by my side. I know no matter what, that in the years to come we will always be there for each other.


I started praying over a year ago that God would make just one thing happen that I could have hope in, and if you would have asked me if I expected to be where I am today then, I would have told you heck no! I still keep that bracelet on as a reminder of God's promises. It helped me realize that when you pray for something, unless you have faith, nothing will work out how you want. If you want something to change and you want to see a miracle, start praying about it and believing God has already given it to you. I'm speaking from experience. Don't forget the promises God has spoken to you, believe in them and trust Him. If I would have ignored God last year and never started praying, who knows where Steve and I would be today. I'm thankful God had everything worked out all along.



Stephen Jay,
Thank you for being in my life and loving me unconditionally even when I least deserve it. You are the most handsome guy I know. Even on your bad days I still find more and more reasons to love you. I am so thankful for all you've done for me and all you've put up with from me. I'm thankful God brought you into my life and has changed me from the moment we first met. You have become my best friend. Thank you for making me feel safe. You're incredible inside and out. I can't wait to find new things to love about you everyday in the years to come. Our story might sound crazy to other people, but it's my favorite and I'm glad you understand it with me. :) I love you sooooo much. 
Ps-You are great. You are wonderful. You are handsome. You are amazing. But, my personal favorite...You are mine. :) I love you babe. 

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