I settle for less in every area of my life.
I have had my mind set on the fact that I expect a lot less than i deserve.
I've felt this way for wayyyyy too long.
In my past I've had people hurt me.
I've had people care about me for a period of time then out of no where snap and just leave.
I actually started to believe that everyone is the same and everyone will end up like this.
Well, I was wrong.
Yea everyone in life will disappoint you at one point or another, but no one is perfect.
I've had my choice of people walk into my life and walk right out with no explanation.
But, it was there own personal decisions. They had to make a choice if having me in their lives was worth it.
Some people chose yes, some, no.
If there is anything I've learned over the last few years is, I'm far from perfect. Just like everyone else.
No one in my life will be able to be there for me 24/7.
Everyone who i care about will eventually let me down and I have to be okay with that.
Everyone has expectations in relationships. About how they think they should play out.
But, relationships aren't about expectations, mainly it's about the destination. Where do you see it ending up?
We can't go through life expecting so much out of someone else because eventually they grow tired and weak and don't feel like dealing with us anymore.
We can't wait for prince charming to come walkin in, in all his glory and perfection and know for a fact that everything is going to work out. Because honestly, it won't. Relationships are hard. They have difficulties, they have struggle, the question is are you willing to put up with those struggles to be with that person?
Mainly what I've come to realize is the issue is PRIDE in ourselves that we are not willing to put down.
Maybe the story is it didn't work out with someone in the past and your scared to take another jump. PRIDE
Maybe you screwed up something with someone you love and your fighting and you're not willing to put down your walls. PRIDE
Maybe you've fallen in love and your too scared to tell the other person so you run away. PRIDE
Why are we all so selfish people that we are so scared to love?
You know whats funny is yesterday i posted a status that said "Find a heart that will love you at your worst and arms that will hold you at your weakest." & it really hit me today how powerful that is.
Because yesterday to me it was something physical. I physically wanted someone to be there for me and wrap there arms around me.
Today I felt it and saw it in a different view.
When i am going through so much crap and so many emotional break downs I feel like i can't take it anymore. He's there.
When I don't know what tomorrow holds. He's there.
When I don't know what's going to happen or I'm scared to find out. He's there.
I can't be scared. & the funny thing is when God's around my pride is gone. Because I can't look at Him and say I don't want you to love me and I don't want your arms around me because, whether I feel it or not He's ALWAYS going to be there and ALWAYS going to love me.
We need to realize that what God is giving to us each and everyday, we need to be giving to everyone else.
Right now I'm going through a lot of crap, just like everyone else. The question is, will I sit and dwell on it and try to fix it myself or will I give it to God and trust He has a plan?
Hmmm...seems like a no brainer to me...
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