Once upon a time... ♥

When I was younger I can remember what I wanted my life to be like when I got older. I literally remember sitting in my room imagining what I was going to be doing when I was going through not only my 20’s but my teen years. I remember how I had all these amazing plans of what I thought I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. I had the perfect vision of what type of guy I wanted to be dating as I was in college. What my family would all be doing. I had it all worked out.

But when you’re younger you finally learn to embrace reality…

My high school years went nothing like I planned. I wanted to be in a public high school with lots of friends, having a good time. Instead I was home schooled for six years of my life with just a handful of friends.  Very much involved with my church.

I had imagined my family being all over the states (Mandy still in Arkansas & Rusty and Sherice still in Massachusetts) going to visit them all the time. Until middle of sophomore year Mandy moves home then beginning of junior year Rusty and Sherice moved home with the kids.

One of the biggest things that I had pictured growing up was what every girl pictures, falling in love with prince charming. To have a guy by my side who would hold me when I’m having bad days. Who would be EXACTLY like me in every way.  Always do everything together. He wouldn’t be afraid to tell me anything.  Yea, as you can see where this is going, I didn’t get that either. I have been single now for almost 19 years. (Yes, that means I’ve never had a boyfriend)

I thought my life was completely pointless because I didn’t have those perfect dreams fulfilled.

Until I realized something….those were MY dreams, not God’s dreams.

See if I would have gone to a public high school who knows where I’d be today. Instead of being involved with church as much as I was. I would have probably been doing all the same things every other kid my age is doing right now. Drugs, alcohol, sex. Yea, super cool life to everyone who does that. NOT.

I’m thankful God didn’t put me in that atmosphere because I would have been probably still trying to dig myself out of it. Because I was brought up in church I have a very strong background and I’m not afraid when people ask me the questions like “why don’t you drink and do drugs?” or “why don’t you cuss?” or even “why don’t you have sex?" So many people ask me these things constantly. It makes me laugh because my answers are usually..

#1. Drugs and alcohol mess with your head so bad it can overpower you completely and I want absolutely nothing to do with that. I'd like to keep myself occupied with other things.

#2. Cussing is a waste of breath to me and quite frankly it makes anybody sound trashy. What’s the point in cussing? It’s completely pointless to me.

#3. I have always believed that sex should be saved for your wedding night. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. That’s how I’ve always believed it should go. & also for years I had begged my mom to buy me a promise ring until finally Christmas of 2008 she got it for me and until my wedding I plan to keep that commitment to not only my parents and myself, but to God. Because he’s the one who intended for it to wait anyways.

The second dream I found didn’t come true was about my family. I see now that I’m out of the house temporarily because of school just how truly blessed I am to be in the Colvin family. At first when everyone moved home I was going insane and wanted to get out and never be home. But now that I’m out of the house I miss the craziness of having nine people running around under one roof and three dogs. Me being here in Master’s and being away from my family has brought me closer to each and every family member more than I can even explain to you. Each one of them is so very special to me and I truly do cherish them. They each have a very special part in my life as to how I got where I am today. 

Not going to lie I probably have the best family ever.

Mom. She is absolutely amazing in every way. She is patient, loving, caring, understanding, kind , funny and of course one hot mama. ;) She is probably the best friend anyone can ever ask for. She has helped through so much over this school year I honestly don’t know where I’d be without her. I see so much positivity in her and so much of Christ’s love shine through her. She amazes me more and more each day. She is the person I look up to the most and one day i want people to be able to look at me and say "you remind me so much of your mom" because to me that would mean the world. I love you mommy ♥

Poparopicopski. I probably have the best dad in the whole world. He is the absolute funniest person I know. When I’m down he is always trying to make me laugh or smile. He is such a blessing to me. This past year he has shown me that I am stronger than I believe and I can do more than I think I can. His ability to be so hard working inspires me to strive to get things done and to go after my dreams. My dad is awesome. I love you daddy ♥

Amanda Rose.(Twin) You know you’re really close sisters when you both go through almost the exact same crap and both go through the exact same hell hole the devil keeps circling you in and yet in the end your still standing. Not to mention you come out stronger than ever. She and I have been through a lot of crap in our lives, both had people walk all over us and use us in any way possible. This past year I’ve watched her come out of a place that she had been stuck for a long time and I had come out of it right along with her. My sister is truly one of my biggest heroes. After everything I see in her a light like I’ve never seen before. I absolutely adore her. She’s beautiful and extremely talented and I know for fact that God has BIG plans for her life. I love you Mandy ♥

Rusty. Oh brothers, they are always the ones who drive you insane and make fun of you and scare away all the boys. Yes he does a good job at that, but what I see in my brother is compassion and love. He and I can joke around all the time and have fun. But, I know for a fact if I had a problem with anybody he’d be one of the first people I call to come help me. He and I are a lot alike which I think is sometimes part of the reason why we fight. We’re both hard headed and stubborn at times.  But, he is such an incredible leader and such an amazing man of God. It makes me want to be a better person. I have always looked up to him differently than I look up to anyone else because of how much he has inspired me. I love you Rusty ♥

Thomas Jefferson. You know, it’s sad when you leave for college and a few months later you see your LITTLE brother who is now a foot taller than you. Ha. This boy, wow has God blessed him with such an incredible talent. He is so incredibly gifted with music it makes me so jealous. He and I used to fight a lot but now that I’m away from him I miss him a lot. He’s so amazing. My brother though he may be hard headed at times has so much power and strength and he is unbelievably smart. He knows so much about things that I have no idea what he’s talking about. He is someone who is always trying to make other people laugh and have a good time. I’m blessed to call him my baby brother. I love you Tj ♥

Sherice. She is such a gifted person inside and out. She is one of the nicest people I know. I remember in the summer staying up late sitting in the living room talking to her about everything, telling how much my life sucks and she would always sit and listen to me babble on and on about all the same pointless drama and I admire her for that. Most people would push it off and be like get a grip and move on. She is an amazing person and I’m so blessed she is a part of our family and since the day I met her the first thing she said to me on how to remember how to spell her name was “she’s a piece of rice” to this day I still remember that every time I look at her. She’s a sweetheart. I love you Shaniqua ♥

The last dream I realized I never fulfilled was the boyfriend role and quite frankly I’m okay with that at this point in my life. During high school I chased after all the wrong guys and it ended up hurting me a lot more than expected. I put together so many fairy tales of me falling in love. But, to be honest if I would have dated any of the guys from my past I have no idea where I’d be now because none of them were good for me and they all were involved with stuff they shouldn’t have been. I had this dream of dating someone who was exactly like me, loud, funny always making people laugh, someone who isn’t afraid to state his opinion. I thought he’d like the exact same things I did, talked like I did. But, obviously when you’re following after your dreams and not God’s that’s not exactly what you’ll get. At the end of 2008 I began to pray for a guy to come into my life so I could stop settling for the jerk guys who were in my life at the time. Then when I thought I had found the only guy I thought I would end up being with and that fell apart I began to cry out to God daily to bring me someone who could take his spot because he was not by any means what I wanted in a boyfriend. It took me a long time to feel okay again after losing someone i thought i was meant to be with. But, God gave me strength and told me everything was going to be alright and to trust Him.

It’s funny when you give God description on how you want someone to be when you date them or how you want something to play out and he gives you the complete opposite of what you ask for.

It's funny how since then I've been blessed with such a difference in my perspective on what kind of person i should be with.

^^That boy right there^^

may not be what I expected in my past, but I know for a fact he is going to be playing a big part in my future. ♥

He's the reason why God had me wait for so long not to be with someone. He is probably the sweetest person I know. I'm beyond blessed to even say he is apart of my life. Through him I have come to realize that no matter what you face in life, God always has a bigger plan than you expect. He showed me that no matter what the devil may throw at you on a daily basis God is still the conqueror of all things. It took me 2 years of praying and crying out to God to bring me one guy who could show me they weren't like every other boy in the world. I met that one guy last summer and since the day i met him my life has changed completely. I'm really glad God brought him into my life right at the perfect timing. (: He's such a sweetheart & I honestly don't know what I'd do without him :) ♥

God’s blessed me with so many people that make me smile. I don't know where i'd be with out any of them.

My ultimate #1. God. He showed me i didn't have to be involved with the world and he's the one who got me through everything. (:

#2. My AMAZING family. I'd be absolutely nothing without them. They are my life. (:

#3. Stephen Jay Schneider. He's such an amazing person and I can see now that he is exactly the type of guy I want to be with (:

I know one thing for sure after looking at all these things this past week. God has a plan. He always has it all worked out. A lot of changes are still going to happen in my life and I have to be ready to face them. But, the things I listed above are three of the things I probably cherish most about what God has given to me. I truly am blessed. I love every part of my life and I wouldn’t change any of it for anything. ♥